he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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