After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
