none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
