Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize