I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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