Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
