I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize