I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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