You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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