If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
"it" just moved
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
