just come out here and I will go home with you...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
