how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
