I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he fucked my hip out of place.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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