I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
