my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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