Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
