lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize