Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
we're so committed to being not committed
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
