My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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