dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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