I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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