Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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