me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
