Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
