Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
