So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
