dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
