i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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