your parents love me but you hate me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
