he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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