i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
