Christians are straight up FREAKS
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
