I just saw a hot homeless man
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
