I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
