Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
