If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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