How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
