Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I need to align my fucking chakras
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
