Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
