there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
