He had one of those small greek statue penises
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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