On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
