we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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