He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
