I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
