Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
