i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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