i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's blow job season.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
