I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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