dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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