If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
