Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize