Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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