Is it because I queefed?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
