My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
