meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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