Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
