I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How does it feel to date your dad?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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