He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
