Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
