Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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