Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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